Today, I advocated for my daughter. I educated. I informed. I explained. I defended. I took her to get medical attention, during which I did more explaining and educating and ended up getting exactly the care she needed at the right time. Most of all, I was her voice, because no one believes a 12 year old child who is missing so much classroom time because of these issues. No one but Mama. And by the grace and sovereignty of God, He saw fit to allow me to have this same illness so that I could know what she is going through-so that I could understand. I could believe her. I could be her place of refuge when no one else would believe her. And, He knew that without me suffering from this disorder myself, I, too, would be one of those saying “This can’t be real. She must not want to go to school. She must be exaggerating or just avoiding class.” Oh, thank God He saw fit to allow me to suffer with this so that I could understand, know, FEEL, what she feels, and be her voice, not the 12 year old voice that no one hears but the Mama voice that speaks loud and dares anyone to doubt her. Thank you, God, for allowing your mercies to be seen amidst suffering. For it is through your mercies that we feel your love and embrace even in the midst of trials and suffering and pain.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23
“A wound that goes unacknowledged and unwept is a wound that cannot heal.”~John Eldredge
This is more than just a quote. This is good, hard truth. If you have wounds, don’t be afraid of them. Open them up, talk to someone about them, pray about them, allow God and a trusted friend or counselor to help you work through the healing. Denying the wound is not “moving on.” You must weep first; then the healing begins. And, hey, some wounds will heal in stages. They will surprise you at times, seem to resurface, sometimes even seem to rush over you like a wave. Don’t be afraid of that, either. That is just an opportunity for God to take you to a higher level of healing. It’s not a sign of your failure, lack of faith, or weakness as a human being. No, it’s just a sign that you are actually stronger, ready for the next level of healing, a level you couldn’t have reached before. Just let those tears come when they need to. Let Him enter and minister. Let those you trust provide support and encouragement, and if there are those who judge or belittle, either remove them from your life or put some distance between them and yourself for as long as you need it. And, be ready to share your healing journey with others because you will certainly meet another soul one day who is just a little further back in the healing journey and will need to hear from you, “It’s all good-you’re just healing.”
“…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Psalm 30;5